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Everything's Happy Underground

I never thought I would hear myself say this, but the music is just not the same as when I was young. Yes yes yes, I know I am still young in the young age of 24, but I refer to young people when you just got your first sprouting of pubic hair, you can not wait to start your periods and what music you listen to, play a major role in defining "who you really are."

To go through my teenage years with the likes of Steps, Britney Boyzone and Craig David who topped the charts, I deliberately listened to music, which proved I was "different" to everyone else, or really my group of friends were different than any other. Music for the white, middle classed and angry teenager who simply would not respond to the bomber jacket wearing, cigarette smoking, scraped back pony tailed hairsprayed lifestyles that made up "Kevs", "chav", "townies" (or whatever you called them) majority of the pupils. The people who scowled at you when you generated your homework diary, which was covered in your poor attempt to draw Smashing Pumpkins logo, or Nirvana smile or some depressing quote: "I hate myself and I want to die", etc. They were not what they did. They were quite happy to get their hands in the closet at rest or argue or not Jamie and Kim were "seeing each other" or full blown "go out" when Kerry snogged him after 3 bottles of hooch at Luke's party over the weekend. (Because if they only see each other, it is ok for this to happen, in case you were wondering – if they went out Kim has every right to have a bitch fight with Kerry, now out with Tom anyway, so it does not really matter anymore). I was classified as a "freak" and I loved it! I did not freak at all. I did enjoy the music, but put it this way, when Kurt Cobain topped himself I do not sit there and think 'oh the tragic irony that everything he faced, mainstream, fame, the commercialization of rock music were precisely what leads him to his suicide "and consider taking my own life as a statement of my loyalty to him and his message. Oh no, I had my 12-plus to sit this year and I had practice papers to do if I were to go into high school! I wore t-shirts and tried to look scary with my dark makeup and headphones nodded my head to dulce tones of "Silverchair" or something equally hilarious, but deep down I was just a teenager, I just did not want to get your fingers in the cupboard or scrape my hair back with hair spray and music seemed the best route to get out of this. Naturally there is no reason why I should not listen to the bands I liked, and still move forward with these people and I know that now, but it seemed to me to be a good reason to divide me from them – much the same way that you see in American films, to the sporty "jocks" or "cheerleaders" are divided up by taxes, etc. just listen to the gospel of Avril Lavigne!

And you know what each school year need me and my group of friends, much as you need for geeks, the rough boys fits the (easy) girls, etc. But recently there has been a massive change in the direction of music, and it has thrown everything completely in disarray.

Since time immemorial charts has been dominated by mainstream music created to please a population of idiots. Idiots who want to move and dance to Macarena. Idiots who have Robson and Jerome to number one, who loves naughty girls and hugged and Aqua "Barbie Girl" as if they were revolutionaries. The moments when these songs topped the charts gave my friends and me exactly what we wanted, something to complain about. I could not count the amount of conversations I have had, which went like "How the hell can anyone actually go to the shop and buy these records, as these people. "Or the amount of exchanged smug" we are so superior to them "look to each other; Kim and Kerry (who is now best friends again after Jamie dumped Kim and went around telling everyone that Kerry is "tight") swap Spice Girls CDs.

Electric guitars do not make it to the charts, and in rare cases, they did the band was immediately dismissed from the "underground" world as we would like to call it. I will never forget the anguish, when Bush appeared on Top of the Pops. What were they thinking?! They will last for one song in the mainstream world, one song while their true fans sit betrayed, hurt, cheated, never to buy their records again. How could they?! The fucking sell outs!

We (the underground) invokes the great British public to buy crap, so we could continue to be angry and sullen about it, it gave us purpose! Recently on this reversed up and down. We now live in a world where a nu-metal group to win Eurovision, "My Chemical Romance" get to number one and charts are dominated by indie and emo groups. It worst thing about it is that very few of them are very good! Frankly, I prefer some shitty boy bands try to sing and perform some overly practiced dance routine than "just another fucking indie band" with some overly arrogant singer whose long hair style is perfectly done and gelled to look like he just got out of bed. I just can not find anything special with their music. At least boyband was ridiculous and entertaining! It seems that all these bands have a catchy hit per album that inspires an entire festival crowd to tear their lighters and inflate the lead singers ego further by doing his job for him and sing the whole song for him while he practices his sulky pouting mouth behind the mess hair. The fact that all the other songs they've written is crap and all sound the same, does not seem to matter. They should really save us all grief to buy these shit albums To listen to a song and go together to make an album with such classics. I can see it in stores now – "Songs to get your lighters out to" to "Snow light shaver bloc party arcade fire knives young player cold patrol "who are forced on you by Jo Wiley. There are obviously a few who have an edge, something a little different and special. and The Arctic Monkeys are about the only thing that Zane Lowe has been right in this millennium, and they are good. Also Fratellis are great – Chuck in a couple of trumpets and trombones and Robert is your fathers brother! But most are 4 messy boys 2 guitars, a bass, drums and a Droning "almost" the singer sings songs they think are actually going to change the world — not even start me on the Killers, I will explode.

The other side of the diagrams gives us the latest sensation that is 'emo'. I have recently found out of this stands for "emotional rock" which is fairly self-explanatory, however, the term "emo" does not only give you a music genre, but actually a lifestyle. There is a new breed of people out there all, make room for the emo generation.

These ants will take over the Earth's surface with foreclosed eyes and ridiculously messy black / purple hair blocking out most of the face! Someone should tell them I did this image a decade ago – and I did it better!

All that is a massive massive mistake in Emo mindset / philosophy. Emos are angry, uber angry. The angry supposedly comes from the fact the way they are not accepted in society. People do not get them, and life is just unfair to those misguided souls. Children try to be "different", but the irony is that the everyone is "different" so nevertheless, different in the same way! Does that make sense?!? It all emo bands sing about being unaccepted in the ordinary world. But they are the mainstream world. Bands like "My Chemical Romance", "Fall Out Boy", and whoever else is just as commercial and manufactured by step was but at least the naughty step party recognized this and took what they could from it!

It is terrible! Children are vulnerable, easily influenced individuals. Before you were safe in the knowledge that most of the children were put in to Kylie Minogue, the Backstreet Boys and B * witc (what is it you want to) sing about all the things pink and fluffy. Now listen to the majority, for example, the following text by Papa Roach:

"Cut my life into pieces

I've reached my last resort

Asphyxia

No breathing

Do not give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding

Do you even care if I die bleeding

Would it be wrong

Would it be right

If I took my life tonight

Chances are that I could

Mutilation outta sight

And I am considering suicide "

Slightly different message than Gina G was trying to get across!

I listened to depressing music, and may have pretended to be angry at the world, but I was smart enough to realize it was just music and not take it too seriously! Most children are stupid, and now it's depressing mainstream music is angry, God knows the consequences! I also find it very sad that they are completely fooled. These bands are all actually a little rich kids whose Daddys paid to get them recording contracts. They do not know the first thing about struggling through life, they just cash by singing about it! Lead singer of My Chemical Romance called Gerrard for fucks sake!

One thing that has upset me and I feel really embarrassed about it because it makes me sound arrogant, but a select few of my band, yes MY bands from when I grew up has completely sold out at me. I was there when Green Day released Basket Case, as the Red Hot Chili Peppers release under the bridge. I saved my pocket money and bought the tapes – yes tapes and I have been there since. Through the fuck up album, the heroine addictions, endless touring, interviews and scandals. I was there. I went to see Green Day with my lovely friend who was also there, 3 years ago at Milton Keynes bowl, and I wish I had not. I wish I had not. Those boys I had grown up beside the now fat old men with big egos too good to play personal sites for their fans right. I had seen them play on the V98, and the was the highlight of my day. Energetic, cheeky, cheeky, fun, etc. Now it's just dull, drilled shit. And the audience, oh woe to me. I looked around and despite the 13-year-old emo ants crawling around the field, I saw hundreds of lagered up, skin head, Tattoed, England shirt wearing Wankers assumes binge drinking / sunstroke or fluctuate with their arms around each other should holler "Wake me up when September ends" (the song must be destroyed every copy of it). How did it happen? I just do not know what makes these people think they have the right to sing along to basket case – I bet they do not know a single other fucking song before 2004! The cunts. I hate it. Wellness rock and roll as I am, in protest left I know that God forsaken song – especially to miss the traffic out of Milton Keynes. I would like to believe, however, that some how Billy Joe looked up across the cunts who are now making their fan base and caught the disappointed look in my eye while I turned my back to them promised to never go to an ego inflating concert like this again.

I'm on a mission to bring back pop. We need the great British public to rebel. Get Louis Walsh and Pete Waterman on the case to produce some more great shit bands with catchy songs that in 20 years will still be played on student nights – and I mean no one hit x-factor winners – I mean real bands like East 17, Westlife, for fucks sake, even the search itself in middle-aged housewives now! Bring back the music, the average Joes love and not average Joes love to hate and take the land back underground where it should be. What's makes no money and the people who make it, is full of talent, inspiration and make it out of love and not money.

In order not to break tradition, I will leave you with lyrics from a song aptly named "Underground" by the late Ben Folds Five. A bit of an anthem for me when I grew up as a real alternative! Hope you enjoyed lovelies.

I was never cool in school

I am sure on, you can not remember me

And now it's been 10 years

I'm still wondering who will

But I would love to mix in circles, cliques and social coteries – that's me

Give me my nose ring

Show me the mosh pit

We can be happy underground

Who has the looks

Who has the brains

Who has everything

I got this pain in my heart, that's all

Hey you with the long and lonely face

There has to be something else

Let me tell ya something else

There was a girl who passed me by

She gave a smile, but I was shy

I looked down, then down

Do not look no no, go go underground

But now there is a place to go

It is morning now, it is the evening

That is all

I click my heels and I'm there

We will be dressed in full black

Slamming the pit fantastic

Officer Friendly's little boy got a Mohawk

And he knows just where we come from

The industrial, work underground

Get down, get down, get down

Underground, underground

Everything's happy underground

You has been kicked around

Has life brings you down here

Everything's great underground

About the Author

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